11/10/93

Dear Mom:

18 years ago today lung cancer tore you out of my life, but not out of my heart.  I wish you could be here to talk to and give me advice.  I took you for granted when I had you.  You were the best, always boosting me up, telling me to treat others the way I want to be treated, sacrificing for me.  Remember when Kim Badilla used to tell you all the stuff she and I would do? I thought I was getting away with murder, but you were just letting me be a teenager.

I saw a grief counselor today at Mark's work.  I felt you with me helping me deal with Dave's death.  Letting me know that I would get through it.  He was so much like you.  Never knew any strangers, just friends he hadn't met yet.  Always doing for others and never thinking about himself.  Taken too soon.  I hope you meet him and you become very good friends with him.  He can tell you all about how he supported me through my breast cancer ordeal, all the time dealing with his own stupid cancer.  I know you will like each other.

I love you and I will talk to you again like this because it really does help.  I know you are listening.  And looking out for me.

Your loving daughter, Rae.

my hero is gone

i was inspired by dave, he had esophageal cancer, went through radiation, surgery, radiation, surgery, and made me feel like i could get through my breast cancer battle breezily...

he died today...we were supposed to go to the movies, but we didn't get to...we just talked to him on the phone last night and although he sounded weak, we thought that everything would be fine...

cancer sucks dead donkey dicks...

i will miss dave's daily phone calls and our visits, he made us feel at home in our new home state of utah...

High School

this includes elementary and junior high also...

because i am connecting with people i attended throughout my school years

on facebook

it is so cool

people that wouldn't have been friends with me back then for various reasons

we had numerous elementary schools which fed into two junior high schools which fed into one high school

needless to say a lot of us were not friends because we didn't know each other in our early years so when we got to high school we were strangers...what are the chances of becoming friends with strangers in a class of over 500 students? not to mention the different subjects: english, math, science, social studies, music, different shops among others that kept students isolated from each other unless they met in the bathroom or outside the school to smoke?

i started a facebook page for my graduating class and i encourage everyone else to do the same...you meet the nicest, most friendly people the second time around!

as a p.s., i would tell those who are currently in school (or any other place in life) and feel left out or like you don't have any friends to reach out to someone now and don't wait 35 years like i did...it will be worth your while!

For Dave

My hero called me today to check on me because I had surgery last week. I won't go into the details of my situation right now, but the reason I am writing this is that he is going in for a PET scan tomorrow which will show whether or not his tumor has shrunk.  HIS tumor, but he is worried about me.

For those of you who have followed my very sporadic blogs, you know that I am talking about Dave Andersen, who is my hero. He works for my husband at Delta Air Lines as a mechanic.  He loves his job. He loves his wife. He loves his kids. He loves his grandchild and has another one on the way.

Prior to my breast cancer diagnosis last year, he was given the news that he had esophageal cancer. He underwent chemotherapy and radiation. That was followed by surgery to remove the esophagus. It was a long hard climb, but things improved for him. As it did for me, but my ordeal was minor compared to what he was going through. He was there for me every step of the way, even though he was in worse shape than I was.  If he wasn't calling me directly to see how I was doing, he called Mark to ask about me.

After six months, he recuperated enough to go back to work. He lives for work, his family and his friends.  But recently he lost his voice. He thought it was just a common case of laryngitis and that things were fine.  It turns out there was a lymph node that had grown and was pressing against his vocal cords.  He had more chemo then radiation and then a procedure to insert Teflon in an attempt to free up his vocal cord (don't ask me, but the medical profession must know what they are doing).  His voice slowly returned and now he is going to be waiting on pins and needles for the test results.

But he still called me to see how I was doing.

I would like everyone to do whatever it is they do in a time like this:

Pray, send good thoughts, love, hugs, vibes.

He deserves the best news ever.  Not only a shrinkage, but an obliteration.

tweet, tweet

heather thinks i should get a twitter account

because i say such witty stuff on facebook

i don't use very good punctuation and grammar even though it is my pet peeve in most instances

i would fit in on twitter, don't you think

except i would have to limit my characters to 140 per tweet

i am my mother's daughter, and anyone who knew my mother knows that it would be impossible for me to restrict myself in that manner

but you may see me out there soon so don't be surprised

heather is making me do this

it has been almost two months since i last blogged, did anyone miss me?

i have been pretty busy learning medical billing...i spent six weeks in michigan with my sister, who is technically my ex sister in law, but in actuality is my best friend...she is my teacher, she has her own business out of her home and she has the patience of a saint...

i didn't get to visit too much, but i did get to see two of my kids, heather and nick, along with my brothers larry and john and their families (almost all of their families, anyway), but i was there to learn, not socialize, right?

i did spend a lot of time with terry going back and forth to garden city hospital to visit her sister gladys, who was having stroke related health issues...

i am back home with my hubby, mark, who made my trip possible, and who waited patiently while i was gone...he did get his fix of mexican food, which i am not fond of, while i was gone...

on another subject, it has been almost a year since my breast cancer surgery, the mastectomy and reconstruction, and i am going for my annual check up on may 17th...if all is good i am going to have follow up surgery to repair some of the cosmetic aspects of the original procedure...

i will keep everyone updated on my schooling/national exam and my health, and hopefully it will not take two months to get back into this...

love and hugs to all!

medical billing training

just a quick post to brag that i got two 100% scores on practice tests so far...i am in michigan with my sister in law and she is teaching me a new skill...