The Kindness of Strangers

Yesterday was my third of four rounds of chemo.  I will preface this by stating that I have been going bare headed most of the time because I love the freedom, not to mention if you look in the dictionary under lazy, you will find my picture, so having no hair is utopia for me.  My day went like this.

Mark (my wonderful, supportive, loving and long suffering husband), his dad, Bill and I left the apartment in the morning to go to Ruth's Diner (which has been on Food Network's Diner's, Drive Ins and Dives).

My first kindness of the day was shown by our waitress, Amos, who was tattooed, pierced and had sizing rings in her earlobes.  Well, every time she was at our table, she looked at me and I could hear the wheels turning in her head.  I could imagine her thinking about cutting all her hair off and joining me in the odyssey of being different, because, obviously, she was not different enough!  I did want to tell her that her body art would be displayed more prominently if her long locks were not covering up everything.  Anyway, I just interpreted her looks and smiles as a positive sign that my head looked good.

When we finished eating and went to the clinic for my treatment, I walked in the office door and got such good comments on the shape of my head and that I was looking great without hair, so that reinforced my self esteem even more.  The doctor then examines me and we talk prior to going into the room for chemo infusion, but Dr Prystas, my oncologist, is also positive about my look.

The room I sit in for chemo has a couch, a chair and three recliners (the recliners are usually intended for the patients, but my first two treatments, Mark and I were the only two people there).  We saw no reason for Bill not to go as he was willing and we knew there would be plenty of room.  Well, it just so happens that there was another chemo patient when we got there. This was going to be different, but so is cancer, so I was open for it!

Sang, a 75 year old Korean gentleman who had surgery for colon cancer, was having his last treatment and was going to be free for three months before his follow up.  He was so much fun talking to and spending time with. So upbeat.  He has a business in Salt Lake City and we got his card and I plan on staying in contact with him.  He is on his own and I really feel like we can be a help to each other.

My infusion was going along great, partly because I had Mark and Bill with me, and partly because my system was familiar with what I was having put into it.  I didn't have to get Benedryl this time because I didn't have any reaction to the drugs.  After Sang left, Ann came in.

Ann was not doing so good.  She was having problems with her hydration, I was understanding, but she didn't seem as approachable, most likely because she was not feeling well.  Her husband dropped her off to do some errands, which seemed to be their routine.  Mark always stays with me and thought that was maybe a little unkind of Don, Ann's husband, but different strokes for different folks.  Ann did try to converse with us some, but we let her take the lead, as she really looked like it was an ordeal for her.  She was a very nice and pleasant lady, but I did not feel comfortable asking her about her cancer.  Her husband came back after about and hour and a half and they then left, with her scheduled to return on Monday for her follow up.  I am so lucky that I am not having to go through what some of the other patient are.  And even luckier I have someone with me (unlike Sang, whose two sons live on opposite coasts, one in California and one in New York) and someone who stays with me (unlike Ann, whose husband drops and runs).

After my treatment was done, Mark, Bill and I came home for a bit and I rested for a while.  We then went to McGraths Fish House for dinner.  As we left the apartment and were in a parking lot going to the car to leave, one of our fellow apartment dwellers we had not met, walked up next to me and threw her arm around my neck and started talking to me out of the blue!  She just outright asked me how far along my chemo was, what I was being treated for, telling me about her friend who was a cancer patient and so on.  She was so encouraging and complimentary about my hair and smile and made me feel so good.  I was so overwhelmed I didn't even introduce myself, so I will be putting a note under her windshield wiper to thank her!

Later, when we were seated at the restaurant, a young Asian patron was leaving and passed our table and said "hello, sweetie, how are you feeling, are you feeling better?"  That brought tears to my eyes!  I just cannot believe all the wonderful people out there!

After our meal, we saw the hot light on at Krispy Kreme and the kindness of my husband took us through the drive through for a half a dozen glazed doughnuts.  Then the kindness of the girl serving us showed up in the form of two free sample doughnuts!  What a way to end the day, I almost didn't feel the chemo!