Tuesday, June 3, 2014

procrastinate much?

wow, it has been over two years since i posted on here according to the "last posted on april 12 2012" i just read when i clicked on my bookmark...

it is not that i don't have anything to say, it is that i am lazy...if it is not in front of me and i am not being pressured to do it, then it doesn't usually happen...that is the way i am wired...

this blog was triggered by my health issues and since i am doing pretty good in that department, at least better than when i first started writing, i have let it fall by the wayside...

every now and then i see someone else's blog link on facebook and how clever they write and think that i am pretty lame so who would want to read anything i have to say?

this is short and sweet and all i have for now...

maybe i will be creative in 2016?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

has anyone missed me?

wow, it has been close to six months since i last wrote!

this time two years ago i was going through my breast cancer diagnosis and surgery and all the decisions and life changing thoughts that go with having this disease. reconstruction, chemotherapy, will i live or die? what a roller coaster it was for the longest time.  and still is.  every time i do a self exam i second and third guess whether or not that is a lump or from fat necrosis.  mark tempers me and calms me down and assures me that it will all be ok.  i would not have been able to get through this if not for him. i wish everyone had a mark. i would clone him and pass the faux marks to everyone!

i want everyone who has dealt with this, is dealing with this or will ever have to deal with this that my heart is with you! and that you know you are not alone and that it is not a death sentence. please continue to get your mammograms and do your self checks. guys too. and let the one you are closest to help so they know your body as good as you and can reassure you when you need it!

thank you for reading and listening to my words!

Thursday, November 10, 2011


Dear Mom:

18 years ago today lung cancer tore you out of my life, but not out of my heart.  I wish you could be here to talk to and give me advice.  I took you for granted when I had you.  You were the best, always boosting me up, telling me to treat others the way I want to be treated, sacrificing for me.  Remember when Kim Badilla used to tell you all the stuff she and I would do? I thought I was getting away with murder, but you were just letting me be a teenager.

I saw a grief counselor today at Mark's work.  I felt you with me helping me deal with Dave's death.  Letting me know that I would get through it.  He was so much like you.  Never knew any strangers, just friends he hadn't met yet.  Always doing for others and never thinking about himself.  Taken too soon.  I hope you meet him and you become very good friends with him.  He can tell you all about how he supported me through my breast cancer ordeal, all the time dealing with his own stupid cancer.  I know you will like each other.

I love you and I will talk to you again like this because it really does help.  I know you are listening.  And looking out for me.

Your loving daughter, Rae.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

my hero is gone

i was inspired by dave, he had esophageal cancer, went through radiation, surgery, radiation, surgery, and made me feel like i could get through my breast cancer battle breezily...

he died today...we were supposed to go to the movies, but we didn't get to...we just talked to him on the phone last night and although he sounded weak, we thought that everything would be fine...

cancer sucks dead donkey dicks...

i will miss dave's daily phone calls and our visits, he made us feel at home in our new home state of utah...

Monday, August 8, 2011

High School

this includes elementary and junior high also...

because i am connecting with people i attended throughout my school years

on facebook

it is so cool

people that wouldn't have been friends with me back then for various reasons

we had numerous elementary schools which fed into two junior high schools which fed into one high school

needless to say a lot of us were not friends because we didn't know each other in our early years so when we got to high school we were strangers...what are the chances of becoming friends with strangers in a class of over 500 students? not to mention the different subjects: english, math, science, social studies, music, different shops among others that kept students isolated from each other unless they met in the bathroom or outside the school to smoke?

i started a facebook page for my graduating class and i encourage everyone else to do the same...you meet the nicest, most friendly people the second time around!

as a p.s., i would tell those who are currently in school (or any other place in life) and feel left out or like you don't have any friends to reach out to someone now and don't wait 35 years like i did...it will be worth your while!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

For Dave

My hero called me today to check on me because I had surgery last week. I won't go into the details of my situation right now, but the reason I am writing this is that he is going in for a PET scan tomorrow which will show whether or not his tumor has shrunk.  HIS tumor, but he is worried about me.

For those of you who have followed my very sporadic blogs, you know that I am talking about Dave Andersen, who is my hero. He works for my husband at Delta Air Lines as a mechanic.  He loves his job. He loves his wife. He loves his kids. He loves his grandchild and has another one on the way.

Prior to my breast cancer diagnosis last year, he was given the news that he had esophageal cancer. He underwent chemotherapy and radiation. That was followed by surgery to remove the esophagus. It was a long hard climb, but things improved for him. As it did for me, but my ordeal was minor compared to what he was going through. He was there for me every step of the way, even though he was in worse shape than I was.  If he wasn't calling me directly to see how I was doing, he called Mark to ask about me.

After six months, he recuperated enough to go back to work. He lives for work, his family and his friends.  But recently he lost his voice. He thought it was just a common case of laryngitis and that things were fine.  It turns out there was a lymph node that had grown and was pressing against his vocal cords.  He had more chemo then radiation and then a procedure to insert Teflon in an attempt to free up his vocal cord (don't ask me, but the medical profession must know what they are doing).  His voice slowly returned and now he is going to be waiting on pins and needles for the test results.

But he still called me to see how I was doing.

I would like everyone to do whatever it is they do in a time like this:

Pray, send good thoughts, love, hugs, vibes.

He deserves the best news ever.  Not only a shrinkage, but an obliteration.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

tweet, tweet

heather thinks i should get a twitter account

because i say such witty stuff on facebook

i don't use very good punctuation and grammar even though it is my pet peeve in most instances

i would fit in on twitter, don't you think

except i would have to limit my characters to 140 per tweet

i am my mother's daughter, and anyone who knew my mother knows that it would be impossible for me to restrict myself in that manner

but you may see me out there soon so don't be surprised