learning to scan (to the tune of learning to fly)

apologies to tom petty and the heartbreakers...

we got a whole shitload of pictures so i will be lucky to finish this project by the time we retire and hit the road, which is the whole point of the exercise...get rid of the hard copies so the load will be lightened for the fifth wheeler...i don't think mark will let me cart five totes of these around the country, although i could let everyone we visit take their pick...
 
what a concept...all your pictures on a flash drive or disc...i am old school and think they should be in an album or loose so you can sort through them every time you want to see them, not in a folder where you can look up exactly what you want...where is the fun in that, not dredging up memories as you search?

oh well, i will move into the 20th century, kicking and screaming, but you can bet i will save some in a secret stash to dig out and look at when we are somewhere i don't have the computer...

too many projects/too much hair

i titled this blog randomness for a reason: i will talk about anything at any given time...

i am starting to crochet again...

i checked out books from the library...

i am cleaning out the file cabinet by sorting and shredding old documents...

i need to start scanning pictures onto the computer for transfer to discs for storage...

who has time for laundry, much less finding a job?

oh, did i mention the hair on my head is growing back? but not as fast as the hair on my chin...

at least i don't have to shave my legs yet...

Go Chuck!

Chuck is my ex-husband and the biological father of my daughter, Heather.

Today is Chuck's first birthday.  His sobriety birthday.  I am so proud of him.  He deserves to have his life in control.  He is one of the best, smartest, musically eclectic people I know.  Being able to enjoy his intelligence and wit has been a joy my whole life, but this last year, knowing he has been working on his own self has really made me appreciate him as more than the man who I grew into adulthood with.

He is strong and I know he will continue to fight his battle because he wants it this time.

I love you, Chucko, and thank you for being you!

New Year's resolutions

Nope, don't have any.

Except to have the most uneventful year ever.

For those of you who have been following my blog, or see me on facebook, or get emails from me, you know that I had a full year in 2010.

Lost my mother-in-law, Adele Zimmerman, in January.

Diagnosed with breast cancer in April.

Mastectomy and Reconstruction Surgery in May.

Recuperation for the next few months.

Lost my brother-in-law, Neill Sorensen in July.

Chemotherapy in September and October.

Hospitalized with an E Coli infection in October.

Luckily, through all this I have had Mark. And Heather. And Terry. And Leah. And Dana. Those are just the people that were there physically.  I have had, literally, hundreds of other people rooting for me, pulling for me, praying for me, sending me cards and letters and flowers, and thinking of me as I travel the road to recovery.

So I am only hoping that 2011 allows everyone else to take a break from my problems.

Happy New Year!

I am back...and this time I really mean it!

First off, Merry Christmas!

I have missed posting but I needed to gather my thoughts before I could write them down.  I am usually "off the cuff" but felt that I needed to compose something epic.

Oh, screw that noise, I am just going to talk about myself, my favorite subject!  Besides, all that "composing" crap is just me being lazy!

As of my last foray into the blog world, I completed chemo a week after spending a week in the hospital with an E coli infection.  The infection was worse than the cancer surgery, reconstruction, recovery and chemo wrapped all together.  At least it felt that way.  Maybe it is like childbirth, as time progresses, you forget how bad it was.

Unfortunately, I had a C section so I have no idea how bad childbirth is as far as labor and pain go.  Then I had the painless process of having two stepsons bestowed upon me.

Therefore, the infection, in my memory, has been the worst experience health wise that I can remember.  As time goes on, I am sure that something will replace it.  Or not.  I hope I don't have anything that bad happen again.  I try to take care of myself, but when I fail, I have Mark to help me.

So with this being the holiday season, I would like to say that I appreciate my family.  All of them, near and far, and they are all pretty far away, Heather is the closest in proximity in California.  Nick in Michigan.  Tony in New York.  But I have Mark here with me and that is what counts.  Kids move on with their own lives.  That is human nature.and I can deal with that.  Except when I can't.  Then Mark holds me when I cry.

Looking forward to keeping you all up to date on my status on a more regular basis, but for now, just letting you all know that I am still here and am getting stronger and healthier every day!

Happy New Year, too!

I am back

I have been away due to recovery from an infection, which I will address in a later post.  In the meantime, I have a special subject I want to write about.  My daughter, Heather.

She is 23 years old.  She just got her first job.  I am so proud of her.  She is my sunshine.  I hope she has the happiness I have always wished for her.  She is far away from me, in California, but not as far away as Michigan, so I want her to know how much I love her and want her to be successful in life as I will not always be here for her physically.  I will always be in her heart, as she will be in mine.

I LOVE YOU, HEATHER!

The Kindness of Strangers

Yesterday was my third of four rounds of chemo.  I will preface this by stating that I have been going bare headed most of the time because I love the freedom, not to mention if you look in the dictionary under lazy, you will find my picture, so having no hair is utopia for me.  My day went like this.

Mark (my wonderful, supportive, loving and long suffering husband), his dad, Bill and I left the apartment in the morning to go to Ruth's Diner (which has been on Food Network's Diner's, Drive Ins and Dives).

My first kindness of the day was shown by our waitress, Amos, who was tattooed, pierced and had sizing rings in her earlobes.  Well, every time she was at our table, she looked at me and I could hear the wheels turning in her head.  I could imagine her thinking about cutting all her hair off and joining me in the odyssey of being different, because, obviously, she was not different enough!  I did want to tell her that her body art would be displayed more prominently if her long locks were not covering up everything.  Anyway, I just interpreted her looks and smiles as a positive sign that my head looked good.

When we finished eating and went to the clinic for my treatment, I walked in the office door and got such good comments on the shape of my head and that I was looking great without hair, so that reinforced my self esteem even more.  The doctor then examines me and we talk prior to going into the room for chemo infusion, but Dr Prystas, my oncologist, is also positive about my look.

The room I sit in for chemo has a couch, a chair and three recliners (the recliners are usually intended for the patients, but my first two treatments, Mark and I were the only two people there).  We saw no reason for Bill not to go as he was willing and we knew there would be plenty of room.  Well, it just so happens that there was another chemo patient when we got there. This was going to be different, but so is cancer, so I was open for it!

Sang, a 75 year old Korean gentleman who had surgery for colon cancer, was having his last treatment and was going to be free for three months before his follow up.  He was so much fun talking to and spending time with. So upbeat.  He has a business in Salt Lake City and we got his card and I plan on staying in contact with him.  He is on his own and I really feel like we can be a help to each other.

My infusion was going along great, partly because I had Mark and Bill with me, and partly because my system was familiar with what I was having put into it.  I didn't have to get Benedryl this time because I didn't have any reaction to the drugs.  After Sang left, Ann came in.

Ann was not doing so good.  She was having problems with her hydration, I was understanding, but she didn't seem as approachable, most likely because she was not feeling well.  Her husband dropped her off to do some errands, which seemed to be their routine.  Mark always stays with me and thought that was maybe a little unkind of Don, Ann's husband, but different strokes for different folks.  Ann did try to converse with us some, but we let her take the lead, as she really looked like it was an ordeal for her.  She was a very nice and pleasant lady, but I did not feel comfortable asking her about her cancer.  Her husband came back after about and hour and a half and they then left, with her scheduled to return on Monday for her follow up.  I am so lucky that I am not having to go through what some of the other patient are.  And even luckier I have someone with me (unlike Sang, whose two sons live on opposite coasts, one in California and one in New York) and someone who stays with me (unlike Ann, whose husband drops and runs).

After my treatment was done, Mark, Bill and I came home for a bit and I rested for a while.  We then went to McGraths Fish House for dinner.  As we left the apartment and were in a parking lot going to the car to leave, one of our fellow apartment dwellers we had not met, walked up next to me and threw her arm around my neck and started talking to me out of the blue!  She just outright asked me how far along my chemo was, what I was being treated for, telling me about her friend who was a cancer patient and so on.  She was so encouraging and complimentary about my hair and smile and made me feel so good.  I was so overwhelmed I didn't even introduce myself, so I will be putting a note under her windshield wiper to thank her!

Later, when we were seated at the restaurant, a young Asian patron was leaving and passed our table and said "hello, sweetie, how are you feeling, are you feeling better?"  That brought tears to my eyes!  I just cannot believe all the wonderful people out there!

After our meal, we saw the hot light on at Krispy Kreme and the kindness of my husband took us through the drive through for a half a dozen glazed doughnuts.  Then the kindness of the girl serving us showed up in the form of two free sample doughnuts!  What a way to end the day, I almost didn't feel the chemo!